everybody knew already how wintery it would turn the other day. except for those who never know and never bother, and go with the flow suffering along all consequences. last heavy summer day burning off at the beginning an october. under the heat, between, icy air, it all happened correctly with a natural fairness long lost. until wednesday all the beauty grasping tiredly sun rays behind glasses and short sleeves midnight into a summer dream awaken by the rain suddenly pouring cooling down all past making bed for a winter to come: thursday at work. skin all hidden behind my dresses. boys will stick to the boys while girls i have never figured out. the whole confrontation with myself bursting carefully while i prepare something unknown for the lonesomeness which i once read is plenitude. then i ponder whatever sort of plenty this word could mean coming to the thought "all shall be well" for the abundance might as well be addressed as sufficient, full, complete. everybody looked funny inside their outfits and their faces expressing between falling leaves increased the busyness of the city around me, standing at the doorway of the shop, outside for tick-tocks, breathing in fresh breeze safely, i go in for another round. i try and handle the telephone and sell bits and pieces to satisfy the customer. then i swallowed down all my love and went out dancing with queens and saviors  under red lights of a palace where i hallucinated at the vision of a tiger with long blond hair and face and hands of a pretty girl. everybody knew from then on it would all get somehow seemingly eternally cold, all these little flying souls rendered to hard jackets. i close my eyes and feel. xerox in an afterglow.